I stayed up two nights straight listening to my friend going ballistic about her boyfriend.
Dissecting and evaluating his every action.
She felt that he's getting too comfortable and not as passionately obssessed about her as he was in the beginning.
And what triggered this?
He told her he was going to bed but then he couldn't sleep and instead of texting her he posted a tweet.
Which ticked her off and she was annoyed at herself for being ticked off.
...
Which ticked her off and she was annoyed at herself for being ticked off.
...
Where is the confident, intelligent girl I used to know? Who is this jumpy, insecure girl invading my best friend's body?
Don't get me wrong I absolutely sympathize with her situation.
My point is love is not reasonable; it robs you of your common sense. You are no longer in full control of your head and thus you are inclined to act with a compulsive heart rather than a rational mind. You're giving up more than just your time and your freedom, but you are also giving up a huge part of your, well in this case, sanity.
But to be fair even with all these emotional trials and tribulations, it doesn't mean one should give up on love.
And to be afraid of taking that leap of faith.
Or to risk your heart being hurt by someone whom you know is absolutely worth taking that chance.
You see, we live in a world spoon-fed by movies and books like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and we are geared to believe love is difficult and complex. That mind games is essential in keeping your man constantly interested in you.
And I am not denying they don't work, because they do.
But is the effort truly necessary?
I secretly believe (hope) that it isn't, that love is actually simple.
It's a glance and a smile across the room in a mundane formal dinner.
It's a hand on your knee when you are driving in the country.
It's coming home from a late night at the office and bringing your (ok fine, my) favorite mcds double cheeseburger set. Large. Two straws in the coke.
It's the little things.
Love is serenity, contentment.
Love is ordinary yet magical.
It's the rested feeling that whatever it is you're going through, someone is there to take your hand and have your back.
Or at least, that's how I wish it to be.
Maybe I am misguided or bias.
Maybe I am tired from all that intense, mind-boggling, life-draining love.
Love that brings you over the moon and slams you back down to earth in one flash of a lightning.
Love that takes you for a rollercoaster ride and inevitably comes to a screeching abrupt end.
Love that wounds, love that lies, love that fears, love that dies.
Maybe now all I am looking for is a singular focus, peace. And now I find myself equating peace to love.
Then again don't take my word for what love is about. Who am I to talk? I've been single for around a year and from the few men I've met in this time, none were anything close to giving me peace.
However I have learnt to seek peace within myself, and for now, that is enough. :)
