Thursday, May 13, 2010


I feel like a piece of wood, floating in the middle of a vast ocean, and the shores are nowhere to be seen.

Waves and waves of salt water hurling themselves wickedly at my frail and powerless figure; mocking at my mere existence, my terminal helplessness.
I could not fight back and stop the waves; I could only do my best to float back up every time I'm being knocked out.
I had to swallow my pride by standing back up and holding my head up high.
I had to endure the humiliation at being beaten out by a force that I simply cannot defy.
I had to; because I had to survive.

Then came the voice in my head.
Soft and alluring.
Do you have to survive?
And I began to lead myself to entertain the thoughts of giving up.
Because people get tired.
Because there's only so much one can take.
Because giving up, is too much of an easy way out.

So I allowed it to happen.
The water seeping into me; choking me; swallowing me.
The voice in my head comforting me.
The suffocation will only last for a short time. It is nothing compared to what you've been through.
Overwhelmed by the dark, wide ocean; I felt so small.
I sunk deeper.
I was reduced into insignificance.
I didn't even struggle.
I simply allowed myself to be taken.
The rays of sunlight on the surface of the water called out to me, beckoning and begging me to come back up, as always.
But my ears are drowned out by the almost lyrical words of the voice in my head.
It will be over soon, my child.
I closed my eyes and indulged in the thundering roar of the ocean.

I ceased to exist; and let myself fall into the deep abyss.

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